This has not been my journey

Two people sit over a cup of coffee, and try to enjoy each other’s company. I am one, I am gay. And I feel the musky presence of another male around me appealing. I like breathing it in, feeling him in my veins as his scent travels within my body. I’m starting to enjoy it.
Half way  through,  the waiter comes with the order… the fare is laid out on the table. My companion stubs his cigarette into the ashtray and looks at me. As he realises I’ve been watching him a glimmer of astonishment strikes his face and disappears. He looks into my eyes as if  to greet me again, and to say he is back from his musings  or wherever he has been while I have been watching him all this time. He smiles embarrassed, and then turns to food.

We dine quietly. We don’t talk. There is nothing much we have in common.
Then there is an effort at  communication, and I forget now who tries to break the silence first. We travel around the world, and they are different worlds. He takes me on a long journey of words.  I follow him, intent on accompanying him on his treasure hunt as he turns every other rock on the way,  showing me things which he thinks I need to see. I hold my breath, afraid to miss some word and drop out of his world. I watch him as the contours of his face change a million times, observing him while he animatedly explains things to me- subtle sciences, philosophy, religion.
The plates are empty  now. And he is quiet as he takes out notes from his wallet to hand out to the steward. I find myself suddenly jolted out of his world; it has been a tiring journey. My neck aches. And my body longs to get out of the place. I look around for refuge; a guy at the other table is having his dinner quietly… I inspect his face, his  features… so poetic, so intensely handsome…
There is this feeling … it has somehow,  not been my day… this has not been my journey.
– Golden Boy

Posted in Reflections.

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